


Stolen Moments (2008)

by JennyB



Category: Saiyuki Gaiden
Genre: Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, Community: yuletide_smut, First Time, Light Bondage, M/M, Masturbation, Teasing, Voyeurism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-12-23
Updated: 2008-12-23
Packaged: 2018-07-11 05:17:37
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,181
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7030525
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JennyB/pseuds/JennyB
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Konzen has something of Tenpou's.  He has an interesting way of getting it back.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Stolen Moments (2008)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [jedishampoo](https://archiveofourown.org/users/jedishampoo/gifts).



> This was written for the 2008 Yuletide Smut challenge, a Saiyuki-themed writing community on Dreamwidth.
> 
> The requestor gave me the prompt 'I only read it for the sex' and asked for voyeurism and/or wanking and/or light bondage.

Field Marshal Tenpou stood in the centre of his office, his hands on his hips, and a cigarette dangling from the corner of his mouth. As he puffed impatiently on the end, he scanned the virtual warzone that surrounded him. _'Where the hell could that be?'_ he mused to himself as he absently prodded an overturned stack of books with his toe. Grabbing the filter between two slender fingers, he exhaled slowly, and then ground out the heater in his nearly overflowing ashtray. _'I know it was here this morning – I was reading it. Then Konzen stopped by, gave me hell for the condition of my office, and after that-'_ He cut himself off, the deep green eyes widening in understanding as a hint of a smirk curved his lips upward. "Sneaky bastard," he murmured aloud. "If he wanted to borrow it, all he had to do was ask..."

Relieved to have figured out where his wayward tome had gone, he gingerly stepped around and over the even bigger mess he'd made in his searching, and nudged a few parchment scrolls out of his way so that he could open his door. Pulling it closed behind him, he stuck his hands in the pockets of his lab coat and casually strolled toward the administrative wing of the palace, and Konzen's quarters. As he walked, he couldn't help the contemplative turn his mind took when he thought about the book the lithe blond had taken. Tenpou wasn't exaggerating when he said he had a little bit of _everything_ in his library, and in the past, Konzen had asked to borrow children's books for Goku, and a few books for himself on human history and philosophy. He'd even gone so far as to borrow a cookbook once in an attempt to make a yam cake. But the brunet was quite surprised to find that Konzen had taken a 'smut book' – not just because it was the first time he'd ever borrowed anything without permission (not that Tenpou _really_ minded), but also because he'd never seen the willowy administrator express anything but disdain whenever he overheard anyone talk about anything lewd or racy. That, he thought, was _extremely_ unfortunate, because in the field marshal's opinion, Konzen was one of the most fuckable gods in the heavens.

He rounded the final corner, and a slow smirk spread across his face. Visions of the stoic, fastidious Konzen all mussed, flushed, and shamelessly begging for release had been the subject of many a late night dream for him – a secret indulgence he spoke of to no one. Not that he would mind making it a reality – if his feelings were, of course, returned. Tenpou was pulled from his musings, his brow immediately creasing into a concerned frown when he heard an odd sounding noise come from the blond's room. It _almost_ sounded as though Konzen was in some sort of pain, but when he heard a soft sigh a few seconds later, he decided to do a bit of investigating.

The fair-haired god's window was open, though the curtains were drawn. A light breeze fluttered the material a little as it wafted over the sill, though hardly enough to reveal anything to any passersby. Tenpou, however, was crouched down and peering stealthily into the room, partly out of concern for his friend, but also because he needed to sate his curiosity.

And he was currently being treated to quite the eyeful.

Konzen was lying on his back against his pillows, and he was gloriously naked. Tenpou felt his mouth go dry as he was unable to keep his eyes from roving over the perfect, creamy skin, and his gaze lingered for several long moments on the blond's erection – a specimen truly becoming of a god. The brunet's brow arched a little in curiosity when he saw that Konzen held his book in his hand, and that he seemed to be completely engrossed in the printed words. A moment later, another soft whimper escaped the fair-haired deity, and when he set the book on the silk duvet beside him, Tenpou prepared to make a run for it, figuring he'd been caught.

Instead, Konzen let the fingertips of one hand ghost up his stomach and across his chest to first brush against, and then lightly twist a nipple while his other slid over his hip to wrap around his shaft. The blond hesitated a moment, and then, licking his lips, he began to slide his fist over the rigid column of flesh. At first, his movements were awkward and jerky, but within moments, Konzen was pumping his hand with long, quick strokes, a gorgeous blush spreading across his entire body as he brought himself closer to his release.

Tenpou felt a bit like some sort of lecherous pervert as he hovered outside the blond's window, knowing he should come back later, and yet unable to tear his gaze away from the erotic sight before him. He swallowed thickly and bit back a moan of his own when he heard the blond let out a soft, muttered curse that would make the saltiest sailor proud, and as he watched Konzen tip his head back and arch his body slightly, he had to give his own aching cock a squeeze to keep himself from coming in his pants. He knew the other was close – he could tell from the way the other was mewling softly – and Tenpou practically _ached_ to be in there and doing deliciously naughty things to the current object of his attention. His eyes widened in anticipation when he heard Konzen's breath hitch, and like the shameless voyeur he was proving to be, he leaned his one forearm against the windowsill and watched intently.

Konzen felt as though he was floating, every nerve ending tingling as he spiralled ever closer to his impending orgasm. Finally, unable to hold back any longer, he felt his release shudder through him. "Ah, Te-mmph!" His post-coital cry was muffled by the pillow he'd grabbed from beside him to shout into. As soon as his body relaxed, the blond was up and heading toward the bathroom. A moment later, the sounds of the shower running could be heard.

Outside the window, the brunet was on the verge of release himself. Though the blond had not specifically _said_ his name, there weren't a lot of people that Konzen associated with – not that he knew about, anyway – but the fact that the other _might_ have been thinking it was enough to get Tenpou's mind working. Panting softly himself, he gave his groin another squeeze in an attempt to find some semblance of control, and then a wicked idea popped into his head. Smirking, he took advantage of Konzen's being momentarily indisposed, and he made his way rather ungracefully back to his own room, glad that most of the other residents were in for the evening and not about to bear witness to his awkward gait. He had a few things to prepare, but first – he had his own 'problem' to deal with.

Twenty minutes later, Tenpou was once again standing outside Konzen's door, this time, dressed in his leather officer's uniform in an attempt to look 'official'. He knocked softly, and when he saw the blond's curious arch of a brow, he had to bite his cheek to hold back his smirk. He'd surprised him. Caught him off guard. "I'm sorry for calling so late," he said. "But there's something serious we need to talk about." As expected, Konzen assumed it was something work related, and quickly invited the tall brunet inside without question, taking a seat, and then inviting the field marshal to do the same.

"What is it?" the blond asked as he tossed the long ponytail over his shoulder, briefly roving over his outfit before fixing him with his impassive violet eyes.

"It's quite troubling, really," Tenpou said, his expression serious. "It seems that there have been a few incidences of theft," he continued as he slowly paced the room. "Just small items, inconsequential, really...hardly worth mentioning. Except..."

Konzen's brow furrowed at that. "Except what? If it's trivial, why are you bothering?" It didn't make sense that the other would personally take on something better left to the lower echelons. Something was amiss, and violet eyes narrowed a little as he tried to figure out what Tenpou was up to.

The brunet paused, stopping behind the blond, his hands in the pockets of the long, black duster. "Except that it concerns _you_." Displaying both a speed and agility that proved why the field marshal was so effective on the battlefield, he deftly snapped a set of manacles on Konzen's wrists, summarily pinning him against his chair. Ignoring the futile thrashing and the angry protests to the contrary, Tenpou trailed his fingers over the back of the silk clad shoulders and moved in front of his 'captive'. Slowly, he straddled the other's lap and rested his hands on his knees as he met the furious gaze, an impish grin on his face. "Now, now, think hard, Konzen..."

The blond's eyes widened when he felt the field marshal's slight weight settle on his legs, and he tried to dislodge the brunet. After a few moments of struggling, he gave up and sat still. Tenpou was a soldier, and well-trained at that, whereas he was an administrator, and years spent behind a desk and lazing away in his own ennui had kept him soft. Delicate. The expression on the brunet's face made him a little uneasy despite the anticipatory thrill he felt run through him at the other's proximity. Deep down, he just intuitively knew that Tenpou wasn't looking to hurt him. He shivered involuntarily, unable to quell the slight excitement he felt – especially when he tugged against his restraints, the length of chain permitting him to bring his hands to his sides, but no further. Forcing his mouth down into a scowl, he said, "I don't know what game you're playing, but you'd better let me go now. I have no idea what –" Suddenly, his eyes widened, and he betrayed himself by glancing quickly towards his bedroom and then back to Tenpou. Konzen felt himself pale when he realized that he'd been caught, only to flush deeply when the brunet's smirk widened.

"I see you remember now," Tenpou remarked, and he lithely slid off of the blond's lap, assisting the other to his feet, but making no move to release him from his chains. "Show me where," he said, and keeping careful watch over his prisoner to make sure he didn't try to run, he steered Konzen to his room, his sharp eyes spying the book before the fair-haired god had even pointed it out. Tenpou picked it up, his gaze narrowing slightly, and he gave the other a gentle nudge, smiling when he fell onto his back on the mattress, his hands once again restrained as he laid on the length of chain.

"Bastard," Konzen hissed as he struggled to sit up, only to glower at the field marshal when he felt a firm hand push him back down and hold him. His eyes widened again in surprise when the brunet turned and sat next to him.

Tenpou crossed his legs at the knee and flipped open the book, the bright green eyes quickly scanning the printed words. After a moment, he slid his hand off of Konzen's chest, and reached into his duster for a cigarette, sparking it up and then exhaling slowly. "Tell me, what made you decide to 'borrow' this particular book?" he asked, not looking at the other as he flipped a few pages ahead, again quickly skimming the text.

"It was an accident," Konzen blurted out. "The title was misleading, and when you came back, I didn't want you to see me with it, so I took it, intending to return it later." Flags of crimson again stained his cheeks at his admission, and after a moment, he growled out, "You've got your book back – now get out. I want to get some rest."

The brunet blatantly ignored the command, smoking silently as he turned the page. "Did you like it?" he asked after a moment.

"What?" Konzen exclaimed, feeling the heat creeping back into his cheeks. When the taller male repeated his question, he turned his head away, scowling deeply. "How the hell would I know? I don't read books like that."

Tenpou smirked, finally turning toward the discomfited blond. "Oh, I don't know. I'd bet my military commission that you not only read it, but liked it." He took another drag off his cigarette, and then holding the stick between his teeth, he flipped several chapters ahead. Clearing his throat, he started to read:

_Tong-Wa licked his lips as he arched his hips forward. Slowly, his aching erection slid into the exquisite tightness that was Li Fu. Once he was fully sheathed inside that searing heat, he swallowed harshly. The general's virginal passage was unlike anything he'd ever felt before, and as he looked into the hungry, lust darkened eyes, he knew that he, a mere captain of one of the lesser ranked battalions, had done something no other could claim – he'd single-handedly conquered the Dragon of the East. Slowly, he withdrew, and with a long, smooth stroke, he thrust back in deeply, delighting in the soft whimper that spilled forth from the older man's lips. A hand wrapped around his commander's turgid length, and mimicking his body's movements, he began the slow, sensual build to their combined release._

Tenpou looked up when he heard a soft mewl from beside him, and with a grin, he reached over and ground out his heater on a metal coaster, making a mental note to wash it later. After exhaling the last lungful of smoke, he lightly ran his tongue over his upper teeth, drinking in the sight of the blond laying back against his covers with his eyes closed. He could see the prominent bulge concealed by the soft lilac silk of his robe, and shifting the garment slightly to the side, the brunet let his fingers ghost lightly over Konzen's need. The blond's eyes flew open at that touch, and he moved to get away; however, Tenpou's voice was calm and soothing, and he urged the other to trust him, and to just enjoy the sensations. It took several minutes of gentle coaxing, but eventually, Konzen did relax and the brunet resumed his reading, his hand lightly palming the other through his remaining clothing. After another page or so, Tenpou set the book aside and began reciting from memory, his eyes locked on the slightly shorter male. He removed his gloves and then carefully, he grasped the waistband of Konzen's black leggings and eased them down over his hips to free his erection.

At that, the blond struggled again, his cheeks heating as he tried to cover himself. His weak protest died on his lips when he felt the slender fingers wrap around his length, the slight coolness feeling heavenly against the heated flesh. A low moan escaped him, and when he heard the soft alto once again reciting the erotic words, all rational thought escaped him. After a while, he was barely aware of what was being spoken. All he knew was that Tenpou was speaking, and that Tenpou was touching, and he felt like every fibre of his being was sparking with want. He was on the verge of his release, when suddenly, he felt the brunet grip the base of his cock and squeeze, forcing his orgasm back. His eyes slid open, and despite his own mortification, he _whimpered_ at having been denied.

"Answer me a question first," the brunet said, chuckling a little at the murderous glare he earned for that. "Why did you lie to me about this?" he asked, his fingers teasingly grazing over the blond's length – giving him just enough to stay interested, but not so much that he'd come.

For a moment, Konzen remained defiant, refusing to answer the other, but when a slight squeeze to his balls drew a low, wanton moan from him, he swallowed harshly and replied, "What would I have said, Tenpou? 'I'm curious, can you recommend a title?' I'm sure that would have gone over well."

The brunet's expression softened at that, and he murmured huskily, "I could have always taught you what you wanted to know. I'd like to now, if you'll let me. Fantasy is good, but it isn't even close to the real thing." Releasing his hold on the blond's cock, he slipped to his knees on the floor and tugged Konzen's leggings the rest of the way off. After setting them aside, he moved between the blond's thighs, his hands resting lightly on his hips. "Think about it for a moment. I promise, you'll love it." With that, he lowered his head, and with his eyes fixed intently on Konzen's, he slowly licked up the underside of the blond's cock, and then ran the flat of his tongue around the crown, gathering up the pearly precome that had gathered there.

Konzen tensed a little at the request, and he found himself unable to formulate a reply. He inhaled sharply when he was divested of his leggings, and as he felt the warm, wet tongue on his length, he gasped, his hips reflexively arching up. "Tenpou..." he mewled, his eyes glazed and unfocused as he watched the other. Jerking off in his own hand had never felt like this, and though his mouth refused to give voice to it, he wanted more. He felt the other's tongue lap at the head of his cock, felt his length slowly slide past the other's lips, and when Tenpou applied a bit of suction, the blond came undone. His orgasm tore through him hard and fast, and as he pulsed his release down the other's throat, he cried out with a raspy, "Gods, yes, show me!"

A low chuckle escaped Tenpou as he swallowed the smaller god's offering, and when he felt the other relax against the mattress, he eased back, making sure to get every bit of Konzen's essence. He sat down on the floor and pulled off his boots, and then shrugged out of his duster, but left himself in the black leather pants and t-shirt. He then fished around in the pocket of his trousers for the keys to the manacles, and after unlocking Konzen's wrists, he pushed himself up and onto the bed, stretching out on top of him. He slid his hands up the blond's torso and over his throat, eventually twining them in the flaxen tresses. And, as he leaned down for a kiss, he pulled free the elastic that bound the other's hair.

When Konzen's wrists were freed, he lightly rubbed the red marks that the cuffs had left, forgetting about his slight discomfort when he felt Tenpou straddle him. His eyes lidded slightly as he looked up at the attractive brunet, though when he realized that the other intended to kiss him, he initially struggled against him, not wanting to taste the sharp, musky scent of his release that he could smell on the field marshal's breath. Tenpou, however, was insistent, yet gentle, and after forcing his tongue past the blond's lips, he eased off a little. Through his silent actions, he taught Konzen what to do in response, his movements instructional but far from institutional. One would never guess from looking at him that Tenpou was seductive and sensual – a lover in every sense of the word – and not the clinical, detached soldier-slash-scatterbrain everyone perceived him to be.

The brunet trailed a hand over the blond's hip and down his thigh, shifting his own body a little to the side so that he could caress the soft skin between Konzen's legs. As a finger lightly circled the small pucker, he kissed along the blond's jaw and down his throat, delighting in the shiver his actions earned. He nibbled lightly on Konzen's lobe, and when the other moaned loudly as he rimmed his ear, he grinned. He'd had no idea that the stoic administrator would be so sensitive, and the thought of discovering other secrets about the blond's likes and wants excited him. He carefully pressed his finger into Konzen's body, distracting him from the intrusion with a sultry growl and another teasing lick to his ear.

Konzen tensed a little when he felt the invading digit, and for a moment, he debated telling Tenpou to stop. However, when the dark-haired god pressed in a little deeper, starbursts exploded in his field of vision, and a dizzying euphoria spread over him. Before long, he was pressing back against Tenpou's hand, his head falling back against the pillow as he felt the brunet's kisses at his throat. His own fingers moved to thread through the thick, chocolate tresses, holding the other's head there as he writhed slowly, wanting more and yet uncertain as to how to ask for it.

Tenpou seemed to understand the silent request, and as he again claimed the blond's lips in a slow, hungry kiss, he eased a second finger into Konzen's heat, gently stretching the muscle as he continued to tease at his prostate. He suckled lightly on the other's lower lip before releasing it, and as he gazed down into the slightly flushed face and noted the lust-fogged violet eyes, he had to bite back a groan. "It's true," he whispered. "You are the most beautiful god in the heavens." Not giving Konzen a chance to respond, he kissed him again as he massaged the other's sweet spot, his thumb pressing against the velvety skin just behind his balls to add even more stimulation. When he broke the kiss this time, the fair-haired god was panting softly and mewling wantonly, and his own cock was hard and aching in the confines of his trousers. Easing his fingers free, he sat back on his ankles, pulling Konzen into a semi-seated position so that he could strip him of his silks, a shiver running through him when he removed the gauntlets. An image of himself tied up with those flashed briefly through his mind, and he barely repressed the wanton groan. Perhaps something for later...

Konzen shivered a little as the cool night air breezed across his bare skin, though he forgot his own self-consciousness as he silently watched Tenpou undress. Subconsciously, he licked his lips as the field marshal stripped off his t-shirt, his eyes roving over the firm musculature and the various battle scars that littered the man's body. Hesitantly, he reached out a hand, and then traced over some of the marks. While some might view such things as flaws, Konzen believed they suited the dark-haired male, and were, in their own way, quite attractive. He swallowed thickly when Tenpou stood to undo his pants, and as the other was finally revealed to him, the blond felt his own cock twitch in anticipation, a fresh drop of precome gathering at the tip. His gaze shifted back to the field marshal's eyes, and when Tenpou settled his weight back on top of him, he slowly let out the breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding. "Tenpou, I –"

"Shh," the brunet murmured against his lips, his eyes half lidded. "I asked you to trust me, ne?" With that, he reached up and removed his glasses, stretching over to set them on the nightstand, and then he turned his attention back to the blond. Without the lenses acting like a filter, the brilliant green seemed even more intense from behind the dark lashes, and he gave Konzen a soft, reassuring look. When he received a silent nod, Tenpou's smile widened, and he dipped his head to capture a dusky nipple between his teeth. Gently, he bit down, worrying the tender flesh a little, and flicking his tongue teasingly over the small nub. His hand snaked between their bodies to wrap around Konzen's cock, and with slow, almost loving strokes, he brought the blond once more to the brink before he stopped.

Konzen keened lowly at the teasing, his entire body begging for release from just a few well-placed touches. When Tenpou stopped, he let out a wanton whimper, his hands pressing lightly against the brunet's chest. "Tease."

Tenpou kissed him again, languidly exploring the blond's mouth as he once again toyed with a nipple. He felt Konzen arch against him, and he skated his other hand once more over his hip, gliding his fingertips along a smooth thigh. After a moment, he raised it a little, setting it against his waist and opening the other up to him. He spent another few minutes just worshipping the blond's body with soft touches and lingering caresses, following it up with kisses to his jaw and teasing nips to his throat. Finally, unable to restrain himself any longer, Tenpou lightly stroked his fingertips over a heated cheek, and then grasped his cock, pressing the tip against Konzen's entrance and gradually sheathing himself in the tight heat.

The blond grasped tightly to Tenpou's shoulders as he was filled, biting his lower lip to keep from crying out against the discomfort. He tried to relax, but the brunet's cock was bigger than his fingers had stretched him, and as he arched against the taller god, he wondered how much more he could take. After a moment, he blinked his eyes open, the pain having subsided and just a slight burning remaining. And even that was beginning to abate as he became aware of a sense of fullness, of completeness. He looked up and met Tenpou's eyes, and as he flexed his muscles a little, he commanded, "Move."

The brunet smirked at the nearly-growled order, and keeping his gaze locked with the blond's, he eased out slowly, only to press back just as languidly, keeping the rhythm of their coupling long and deep. On every inward thrust, he would arch his hips slightly, changing his angle just enough so that his cock would brush completely against Konzen's prostate. Dipping his head once more, he claimed the mouth he was beginning to crave in a wanton kiss, and then moved to nuzzle at the blond's throat, relishing every soft moan, whimper and mewl he drew out of the other. He deliberately kept his movements slow and gentle, building them gradually toward their impending climax, making every sensation matter, knowing their eventual release would be intense.

Konzen writhed languorously beneath the brunet, in awe of how the field marshal seemed to be able to read him so exactly. Whenever he craved a deeper touch or a firmer caress, Tenpou would provide it, and it wasn't long before the blond felt as though he was floating on a wave of pleasure. Every nerve ending seemed to spark with the sexual electricity that existed between them, and his whole body felt hypersensitive to the variety of sensations he was experiencing. Eventually, he became aware of a tingling low in the pit of his stomach. Slowly, it began to spread, soon reaching his extremities and making him feel very light headed. He could feel his heart rate increasing, and through slightly parted lips, his breath was coming in short, quick pants. Trembling fingers reached up and traced over an elegant cheekbone before falling back to his sides, and he offered the brunet a tremulous, genuine smile. Suddenly, he clenched his hands tightly in the covers, his entire body going rigid as fireworks exploded behind his eyes, his orgasm overtaking him in a rush. He was vaguely aware of calling Tenpou's name, and then a string of nonsensical babble before his vision started to grey out at the edges. He heard the brunet's sultry whisper of his name in return, and felt the heat of his release inside him, and for a few seconds, he experienced that one perfect moment.

Tenpou was having a hell of a time holding himself back as he watched the sensual, unabashed display Konzen was providing him. As he'd imagined, the golden tresses splayed out messily against the covers and the unguarded, debauched expression on the blond's face were beyond erotic. He groaned wantonly when he heard the other call his name as one would a lover, and that was his undoing. With one final thrust, he arched deep into the pliant body beneath him, shuddering out his release as he murmured Konzen's name with equal passion. Once he'd come down from his peak, he carefully eased himself free, draping an arm and a leg over the other and plying him with gentle kisses and soothing caresses.

Konzen turned his head a little to gaze at the other, his brow furrowing a little as the reality of what had just happened hit him. "Tenpou? What do we do now?"

The brunet chuckled. "Well, I don't know about you, but a bit of a nap sounds like a very good idea. Unless you're worried about Goku seeing."

The furrow deepened, and the blond's mouth curved down into a scowl. "You know damned well that's not what I meant." He knew that things between him and the field marshal had changed – he hoped for the better, but steeled himself just in case.

At that, Tenpou lifted his head, the green eyes soft as he looked into the uncertain violet. "Konzen, do you regret this? At all?"

"...No."

"Neither do I. And I do know that this is something I want, provided you're content to lie in the arms of a military dog. I also know that right now, I feel completely at peace; I'm actually grateful to be a denizen of heaven – more so than I have in a very long time. Thank you for giving me that."

The blond managed a small smile at that, hoping that the brunet would understand he felt the same way, and when Tenpou lightly nuzzled his temple, he knew that he did. He was quiet for a while, just lying in Tenpou's embrace and trying to get his head around the unexpected fact that he now had a lover in the field marshal. Suddenly, his eyes widened as the brunet's earlier comment came back to him, and inwardly, he groaned a little – he wasn't looking forward to having to explain what that meant to Goku. He did know, however, that he'd be getting the dark-haired god's assistance with that, whether willingly or not. He glanced briefly at the nightstand, and he smiled a little as he caught sight of the book that had brought them together. After a moment, a frown creased his brow again, and he murmured, "Tenpou?"

"Hm?"

"That book I borrowed? The storyline is crap."

The brunet laughed. "I know. I've often thought about purging it from my library, but I could never bring myself to. I'd like to tell you that there's some scholarly reason for my having it, but to be honest, I only read it for the sex."


End file.
